I do not like Utah anymore. I want to go home to Omaha.
I need to convince Nate that we can do it. I'm scared but I know we have the will.
I want him to get out of the airforce, find a job in Omaha and move us back.
He has one year left to make his decision to remain or get out.
I know he has the ability to land a great job in the medical field with his training.

Just flew in from LA last night.
unpacked, did laundry, currently packing...again. Time for Boston.
2 baby showers
bachlorette party
wedding rehearsal dinner
wedding

I fly out in a few hours. Im so not ready.

Saw Tommy Lee and Daisy De La Hoya (from rock of love) at lax.
I <3 reality tv stars

are you fucking kidding me.
Nate only left on sunday....my back yard catches fire on tues and yesterday walmart.com calls me regarding a purchase I never made. further research shows this person has charged $1500 or more to my credit.
where do you turn when you live on base but the military police are actually not police and cannot file reports., so you turn to a local officer offbase and they tell you you are not their jurisdiction they cannot help you.FUCK

they do offer a variety of support groups for families/girlfriends/wives of the deployed.
I myself have never been. I can say I am way move involved now than I ever was because living in Omaha I was sheltered by a sense of normalcy. we had all civilian friends and we lived off base in the real world.
Moving away changed so many things. now my only companions are other spouses that have been through it all and then some. in so many ways I long to be back in Omaha and feel real again but I also like being surrounded by people who understand my loneliness, fears and embrace them.
you have a lot going for you and amazing friends but if you ever wanna discuss the "military life" Im always a phone call away.

Liam and I are kicking it for a few by ourselves cause Nate went TDY.
Laaaaaaaaaaaame. They also extended airforce deployments this past week and Nate is in the bucket, of course.

My only complaint/sadness is that last yr Liam was a wee lil man and didn't know the difference but this morning at the airport Liam had the most enormous tears flowing, yelling "muh daddy". Heartbreaking.
It is amazing to me that at such a young age he is so aware of his routine and surroundings. He knows when something is up.

He's currently reading his new kitty Eva a book.....sooo cute.
Yesterday he said "mummy my whore" Im sure he was talking about his horse. Love him.

http://www.salemnews.com/punews/local_story_213002240.html


This is my life currently.
In case you are unaware, that article is in regards to my baby brother.
The entire incident was premeditated. He was invited to a "friends" house to make amends, soon after realized it was a set up. Due to a past drug problem, local dealer referred to him as a snitch and wanted him dead. They would do so by setting him up, putting him away in jail and then having his life taken while in jail.
So far their plan has worked but you better believe my family have put themselves in great debt but have hired the best help to make sure my brothers life is not in danger.

Four men on tuesday night jumped him and beat him severely, one had a knife in his pocket and provoked him to use it on them. In fear of his life he stabbed one man in the arm and back. Cops arrested him while he was lying in the street beaten and bleeding. The man stabbed pressed charges. All part of his plan, and it was working.

The worst part about his entire situation is the man who called him a snitch and spread word that he wanted my brother dead, is a family member, a second cousin.

I have not slept in 2 days, and each time I hear my mothers voice I break down.

major issues with sleeping the last month or so, maybe longer.
nate is suggesting meds but i just can't bring myself too it.
i took myself off the prozac i was on while i was being treated when nate was deployed and i just don't feel the need to go on something else.
im currently on a 2 week herbal cleanse. i also exercise a ton, whether its walking 5 miles each morning, biking at night while towing a bike trailer and hiking on the weekends. still nothing helps me sleep at night.
i have taken on way too many engagements, i cannot seem to wrap my head around them. nate is leaving me for training in aug. i leave for mass begining of sept. once there i have a bachelorette party to plan/attned, a baby shower for my sister whom is due to give birth that same week and also a rehersal dinner and wedding that liam and i are in the following weekend.
we need a second imcome. i need another job. when i will have time to work this job i cannot quite figure out. between nates round the clock schedule and his night school. unfortunately child care would be the equivalent of my paycheck. i wish places were open on sundays here in utah or that there were bars i could work late nights and solve my no sleep issues.
blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

hello heatwave. i cannot function when its well over 100 degrees.
i can't sleep lately. i quit my job. im hoping it helps.
i have spin class at 5 am. i feel like poop.

Ahhhhhhhhhh soooo tired. Im almost positive we spent more time on the road than we did in Omaha. BUT, it was sooooo worth it!!!!!!!!!!
The wedding was amazing. I apparently drank waaay too much, thanks to Kate for introducing me to jagerbombs. Seeing everyone all in one beautiful night was fantastic.
I love Omaha and my friends.

Nate and I saw a license plate today that read "LOLPWND".
it reminded us of you.

weekend went very well.
recieved our stimulas, bought Liam a playset for our backyard.
gardened/weeded for 3 hrs on sat and another 2hrs on sunday.
recieved our jogging stroller and child carrier for hiking this weekend.
unfortunately 45spf is no longer enough for me. burned to a crisp.
yay for 70spf.

walking pneumonia stinks.
all new camping gear is awesome.
new Keen hybrid hiking shoes, sooo comfortable.
Omaha in two weeks and one day, AMAZING.

REI is my new favorite website.
I got a good headstart on Nate's fathers day gift as well as his birthday present.
I wanna go back to Omaha before I explode.

liquid stitches instead of actual stitches worked out well.
holding down a 17 month old while he screams in pain, not so much fun.
just another scar to add to his face.
welcome to motherhood.

I know most of you ladies are home owners or soon to be and I thought I would let you know I am throwing a Pampered Chef catalog party the entire month of may.
If you are interested in purchasing anything, let me know and I will mail you out a catalog. You decide what you want and call or email me and I will do the work for you.

WE ARE GOING TO OMAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we will be in town only fri 5/30- sunday 6/1

someone please offer me advice on some stretches or just give me drugs...
I pulled my back so severely, I can't lift Liam, lay down or or even breathe properly. base clinic has no available appts today or tomorrow.

my day used to go like this..
up at 6:30-7
change diaper
make breakfast
feed dog
clean up from breakfast
dress for the day
outside to play
back in to make lunch
after lunch clean up and then nap time (shower time for mom)
afternoon would consist of laundry, floors, bathrooms, sanitize kitchen
prepare dinner
go to gym
bath time
bed time

why on earth I would add wroking 5-10:30pm to that list I have no idea
I'm soooooooooo tired.

a few things I have come to learn.
Liam has inherited my scense of clumsiness.
He is also not afraid of anything, including a fist fight with a nasty cat whom still had his claws
and our neighbors 130lb retriever who knocked him onto the concrete and scared his face from forehead to top lip.
Please give me a girl next.

The construction in my backyard of huge machines tearing down homes is giving me a huge headache. I'm not looking forward to this going on all summer.

My dog of 14 yrs Casey, passed today. My dad brought him into the vet and he did not come home. His body had been taken over by cancer and chemo would not help him. He was awesome and had been my moms best friend since us kids had moved out 6 yrs ago. I last saw him just this past tues. As much pain as he must have been in he seemed happy to see me. I will miss him.